I am an addict.
In 1994, I first stepped into a Gemara shiur sponsored by the Atlanta
Scholars Kollel in Atlanta, Georgia, where I was born and raised. Sure, I was
reared in a Kosher home, attended a Jewish elementary school, married a Jewish
girl, and was even the President of my local shul.
But, Talmud? That was another story entirely. Aramaic, no punctuation,
strange margins, different fonts, cryptic references. Not to mention the
commentary in the back. And the commentary on the commentary. In ever smaller
type sizes. Crammed into ever smaller corners of ever smaller margins.
So I got a little help.
One Sunday afternoon (which used to be my day off in my Pre-Aliyah
existence), I strolled into the local Judaica store and sidled up to the
counter.
"Psst"
"Can I help you?"
"Please, sir, can you keep your voice down? I'm really quite embarrassed
to be here, and..."
"Go on..."
"Well, I, uh....I'm having a little trouble with my Gemara shiur, and
I've asked around, and, well, I'm told that you have....."
I gulped. Hard.
"Go on...."
An eternity passed. Silence.
"Look, son, I haven't got all day"
Finally, I spit out the words in a hoarse whisper.
"You got any Artscroll?"
"Sure, whatcha lookin' for? Daf Yomi? Talmud Bavli? You name it."
"I'll take Volume One of Baba Metzia please."
And the deed was done.
From that point on, I could not attend a Gemara shiur without the aid and
comfort of the eloquent elucidation provided by the Artscroll translation of the
Talmud.
I struggled mightily to break free of my total dependency on the "Artscroll".
But every time I opened a daf of Gemara, my hands started to shake, and I broke
out in a cold sweat and reached for my "little helper." Then
everything was alright again. Until the next time.
My addiction worsened. Soon I abandoned the original text altogether and dove
straight for the Artscroll in order to prepare for shiur. I was hitting the
Artscroll more and more.
And then we moved to Israel.
And I found Kehillas HaGra.
And Rav Adler's shiur in Pesachim on Sunday and Wednesday nights.
Rav Adler lives here in Ramat Beit Shemesh. He is a professional Maggid Shiur
in Yerushalayim by day, and he is available to the Kehilla of the Gra shul each
night. His shiur is part of a program of organized learning, mornings and
evenings, in English, at all levels.
At first, it was harder than ever. Rav Adler's shiur was sharper and faster
and more intense than any class I had been to before. To complicate matters, all
of the Talmidim except me had received some form of Gemara training. I couldn't
even understand their questions, much less Rav Adler's answers. It was like
sipping water from a fire hose.
I considered quitting a number of times. And I kept hitting the Artscroll
just to keep from falling too far behind.....
But that was then. This is now. At the moment that I am writing this, I have
been Artscroll - free for two weeks, 3 days, 12 hours and 15, ...wait, make that
16 minutes.
But who's counting?
Despite my complaints, Rav Adler refused to pander to my ignorance. He
offered encouragement, but not excuses. He made himself available whenever I had
questions. He drew up vocabulary lists of difficult words and concepts and hand
delivered them to my door. But he refused to be an accomplice to my “dependence.”
If you ask me why we moved to Israel, my wife will tell you "because
Hashem wants us here" and I will go on and on about the importance of
living in "Ha'aretz," the opportunities available to me as a lawyer
licensed in the U.S. and Israel, the emphasis on developing each child's Neshama,
the way in which Mitzvah opportunities shower down on you all day along, etc...
If you ask me about why we moved to Ramat Beit Shemesh, I can spend hours
talking about its geographic location, relative affordability, strong community
involvement, proximity to Yerushalayim, supportive English speaking population,
etc....
If you ask me about The Gra, I can tell you about a unique combination of
Bnei Torah who work and learn, who are serious about their connection to Hashem
without being pretentious about it, who have set about systematically creating
the most supportive environment possible for the English-speaking Oleh, and
whose guiding principle in every action taken, every word spoken, is Kiddush
Hashem.
If you ask, that's what I'll tell you.
But the truth is that I came here to kick a habit.
